You are reading the archives for August 2010.

If You Knew This You’d Know Everything -1

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than  seven (7) times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.  

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or  older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum. 

The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the  morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made  from DEAD SKIN!

The  first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung  cancer. So  did the first “Marlboro Man. ”

Walt Disney was afraid of MICE!

PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR!    

The three most valuable brand  names on earth:  Marlboro, Coca Cola , and Budweiser , in  that order.

It is possible  to lead a cow upstairsbut, not downstairs. 

A duck’s quack  doesn’t echo, and  no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne  particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the  living room now!)  

And the  best for last…..

Turtles can breathe through their butts. (I know some  people like that, don’t YOU?)

The Flies and the Honey-Pot

    A NUMBER of Flies were attracted to a jar of honey which had been overturned in a housekeeper’s room, and placing their feet in it, ate greedily. Their feet, however, became so smeared with the honey that they could not use their wings, nor release themselves, and were suffocated. Just as they were expiring, they exclaimed, “O foolish creatures that we are, for the sake of a little pleasure we have destroyed ourselves.” Pleasure bought with pains, hurts.

The Tortoise and the Eagle

 A TORTOISE, lazily basking in the sun, complained to the sea-birds of her hard fate, that no one would teach her to fly. An Eagle, hovering near, heard her lamentation and demanded what reward she would give him if he would take her aloft and float her in the air. “I will give you,” she said, “all the riches of the Red Sea.” “I will teach you to fly then,” said the Eagle; and taking her up in his talons he carried her almost to the clouds suddenly he let her go, and she fell on a lofty mountain, dashing her shell to pieces. The Tortoise exclaimed in the moment of death: “I have deserved my present fate; for what had I to do with wings and clouds, who can with difficulty move about on the earth?’ If men had all they wished, they would be often ruined.

The Mountain in Labor

 A MOUNTAIN was once greatly agitated. Loud groans and noises were heard, and crowds of people came from all parts to see what was the matter. While they were assembled in anxious expectation of some terrible calamity, out came a Mouse. Don’t make much ado about nothing.

A Fawn and his Mother

The Fawn and His Mother

 A YOUNG FAWN once said to his Mother, “You are larger than a dog, and swifter, and more used to running, and you have your horns as a defense; why, then, O Mother! do the hounds frighten you so?” She smiled, and said: “I know full well, my son, that all you say is true. I have the advantages you mention, but when I hear even the bark of a single dog I feel ready to faint, and fly away as fast as I can.” No arguments will give courage to the coward.

The Farmer and the Snake

 ONE WINTER a Farmer found a Snake stiff and frozen with cold. He had compassion on it, and taking it up, placed it in his bosom. The Snake was quickly revived by the warmth, and resuming its natural instincts, bit its benefactor, inflicting on him a mortal wound. “Oh,” cried the Farmer with his last breath, “I am rightly served for pitying a scoundrel.” The greatest kindness will not bind the ungrateful.

The Farmer and the Stork

 A FARMER placed nets on his newly-sown plowlands and caught a number of Cranes, which came to pick up his seed. With them he trapped a Stork that had fractured his leg in the net and was earnestly beseeching the Farmer to spare his life. “Pray save me, Master,” he said, “and let me go free this once. My broken limb should excite your pity. Besides, I am no Crane, I am a Stork, a bird of excellent character; and see how I love and slave for my father and mother. Look too, at my feathers — they are not the least like those of a Crane.” The Farmer laughed aloud and said, “It may be all as you say, I only know this: I have taken you with these robbers, the Cranes, and you must die in their company.” Birds of a feather flock together.”

The Hare and the Tortoise

  A HARE one day ridiculed the short feet and slow pace of the Tortoise, who replied, laughing: “Though you be swift as the wind, I will beat you in a race.” The Hare, believing her assertion to be simply impossible, assented to the proposal; and they agreed that the Fox should choose the course and fix the goal. On the day appointed for the race the two started together. The Tortoise never for a moment stopped, but went on with a slow but steady pace straight to the end of the course. The Hare, lying down by the wayside, fell fast asleep. At last waking up, and moving as fast as he could, he saw the Tortoise had reached the goal, and was comfortably dozing after her fatigue. Slow but steady wins the race.

A Dog and His Shadow

The Dog and the Shadow

A DOG, crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his mouth, saw his own shadow in the water and took it for that of another Dog, with a piece of meat double his own in size. He immediately let go of his own, and fiercely attacked the other Dog to get his larger piece from him. He thus lost both: that which he grasped at in the water, because it was a shadow; and his own, because the stream swept it away.

The Traveler and His Dog

    A TRAVELER about to set out on a journey saw his Dog stand at the door stretching himself. He asked him sharply: “Why do you stand there gaping? Everything is ready but you, so come with me instantly.” The Dog, wagging his tail, replied: “O, master! I am quite ready; it is you for whom I am waiting.” The loiterer often blames delay on his more active friend.